Tired (This is a rant, feel free to ignore and move along)

Well, I tried to post daily in Florida. The internet has other plans however. Whether I was hunting for a wifi hotspot or trying to use hubby's grandparents' dial up, I could not get a post to take.

It turned out to be an OK time. It was hot and humid and uncomfortable. There was no pool, no free wifi, no free continental breakfast with make-your-own-waffles... But we did get to spend a lot of time with his grandparents, and the kids behaved mostly. The last night, it got pretty rough for them. They were bored and cranky. Another day would have done us in. I think Grandma was ready for us to go too. She was worn out.

So, now here we are home again. It's been hell. Of course no one else feels this. I wanted to get the hotel room so I could stay on my schedule, sleep til noon or 1 and stay up til 3am. That way I would be able to get right back into work without any bad effects. But no. I had to be awake during daylight hours with the family. So, what the family does not realize now is that I have been basically under the effects of jetlag. It's taken this whole week so far or working since Sunday night (we got home Sunday morning at 4am) to finally get to where I can get through a whole shift without practically nodding off. In other words, I have felt like CRAP.

When we got home, Corina had rearranged the living room and dining room areas, and I like it. It was nice and clean and vacuumed etc. Since we got home, not a single person has done anything to help keep it clean or anything. We have to nag and nag to get them to do one measly load of laundry or load the dishwasher and wash off the counters.

The problem is, the house is in shambles and I am SO sick of it. I was telling hubby (while he just stared blankly at me) - I sit down to work at 6:45pm and cannot really get up til 3:15am save for 2 15 minute breaks and a 30 minute lunch (all of which usually spent trying to reboot laundry or grab a snack or get the kids to go to bed for the 12th time that night) then I am in bed by 3:30, but can't sleep til after 4 due to pain. I sleep til 1pm, and have to grit my teeth to get out of bed, wincing the whole time. I have tons of friends with back disorders and arthritis. I know there is nothing to be done except give me pain meds I DO NOT NEED to get addicted to. So I try to deal with it, but it's getting harder and harder. By the time, I awake and moving a little more normally, it's about 3:00 and the kids get home at 3:15. Then I have to nag and nag and nag them to do their chores, but they're all so lazy and addicted to the TV and internet they ignore me til I have to yell. They are always fighting. This continues all evening. I also have to run any errands I can before things close or having pick up kids from after school activities because they're too good to ride the afterschool bus. Then I have to get dinner made, nag the kids some more. Then I have to get back to work at 6:45. I seem to have like maybe 3 hours total to do ANYTHING! This isn't normal.

I work 8 hours a night (well, 8.5 plus breaks), I do stay in bed maybe too long, but honestly it just hurts to lay down and then it hurts to get up. But then, I barely have any free time to do housework or bake something. I bought apples to bake a pie. The apples have almost all been eaten. I have yet to find time to bake anything.

My boss said if I want day shift, I have to assassinate the day person in my position. He was joking, I think. But he made it clear I am stuck on this crappy shift. I can't afford to quit. No way.

I guess my only alternative is to takes tons of pain pills and set my alarm clock much earlier and get less sleep.

I'm just ranting and venting. I complain about my kids being lazy. I guess I need to quit whining and get my ass out of bed earlier.

Right now if I could go back in time, I would stop myself from getting in that truck. I can only imagine in dreams what life would be like if I did not have the injuries from that car wreck when I was 18. Things would be so so different...