Is it the apples or am I just a little less nuts?

A few weeks ago I posted that I'd lots ten pounds while my friend Daniel was visiting from England.  He'd encouraged me to climb all the way to the top of Clingman's Dome and that was surely where a lot of it went! I thought I was going to die, literally. My heart's never pounded that hard in my life.  Then, the rest of the time he was here, I found that I didn't snack much at all, cause I wasn't sitting mt my computer eating out of habit and boredom. He and I would sit and talk and watch old movies and I just didn't feel the need to snack. Plus we were always on the go, taking the kids to the lake or the park and walking around the island at the lake etc. Just lots of activity I wasn't used to.  I *SHOULD* have been used to it by doing all that stuff with my kids (with or without the hubs), but I admit, I was too lazy and just found excuses. 

When he left, I tried to keep the trend going. I counted calories and worked out on the Gazelle and had two Slim fasts a day (I do like them btw). I managed to lose 5 more lbs. Then I got sick, and I got depressed and emotional and just discouraged about a lot, and ended up regaining the 5 I'd lost after he left. But after the illness went away, and I started feeling better, I noticed I seemed to be toning up some. You know you can tell when there's less fat on flabby arms or your thighs etc.. even the way underwear fits. I decided to take measurements and lo and behold they were still going down.

I had noticed I'd been eating less at meals, and buffets were a waste of money for me because I could barely finish one plate much less go back for more. Then the pounds started coming off again.  In fact I'd do a double take at the scale some mornings. I have not gotten on the Gazelle in 2 maybe 3 weeks now. So... it's all from diet.  And I don't feel like it's a "Diet" diet, you know?  I don't feel like I'd preventing myself from eating anything. At night during work, when I feel like I ned to munch on something, I'll cut up an apple and eat it. I keep several near my desk with a knife. I still make brownies and have ice cream and eat big dishes of spaghetti... I just seem to always have a lot left over.. I just stop feeling like I want it.  I get full and just stop eating. 

Now I know this sounds like a "DUH!" thing.  And yeah I guess it is, but for me, it's very new.  I've always been an emotional eater. If I was depressed, I'd eat. Then I'd feel miserable and get more depressed. Vicious cycle.  Then after this last illness and feeling down and some conversations with friends and Hubby, I came out of it with a new outlook I guess.  I really don't feel a lot different or anything, just less worried about stuff I can't control.  No more obsessing. It's not even something I'm consciously doing.  I just don't feel emotionally attached to food anymore. Just like I don't feel like I need certain things or people to feel accepted or loved. If someone out there's been praying for my sanity, THANK YOU!  It's working ;)

So, maybe it's switching from BBQ chips and Snickers to apples, and maybe it's because I'm not as nuts as I used to be... I don't know.  But my waistline (and other measurements) are certainly benefiting.  I've now lost 17 lbs since August 28th, almost to my original goal of 20 lbs!  Then the next goal is another 20. That'll make the Lose 40 lbs the Year I Turn 40 goal.