It's Alive! It's Alive!

So, yeah.  Here I am.  Still breathing, still living day to day. 

Those of you who have been with me and my blog for a while probably know that when I disappear for a while, it's either due to illness (like the flu) or depression. This time it's been a bit of both.

My house is a total disaster area... well... ok maybe not ALL of it... mostly just my bedroom.  We do tend to get and keep the living room and kitchen mostly cleaned up cause we have people over to see the girls or friends of ours sometimes. But I basically stopped doing laundry, and I stopped caring about the bedroom/office. As long as I had a path from my chair to the fridge and bathroom, I was fine.  Some nights I didn't even have a path.

Financially things are getting bad... in fact there was one thing that happened that I can't even talk about right now.  Just thinking about it is bringing tears to my eyes, so not going there...  We've even had to borrow a large amount of money from relatives when the Explorer's brakes went out and we had to get it fixed or have no transportation.

In fact today, we hit rock bottom.  Well as rock bottom as we've been in a long time.  I have relinquished my debit and credit cards as well as the check book and given them to Christopher.  I have listed all the bills and expenses and how far behind we are on stuff and when it's due and when they'll turn things off etc, and sent it to Christopher's email. So, now he's in charge of it all. I can't handle being in charge of it at all now, and I have to force him to do it.  So giving him all the links and info, he will be better able to pay stuff and know where the money's going.

The living room floor is still "naked" as visitors have called it. It's gotten embarrassing too. Everyone asks if we ran out of money after we got started...  There's some plank tiles down in front of the front door, maybe about 5 sq feet, but the rest of the room is just plywood. In fact we have friends who started their own flooring job a month after we did and theirs is all done now - and they ran into trouble with some of it.

I found a couch and loveseat I would have loved to get at Big Lots, they're leather and dark wood. So pretty. But Christopher has basically said we need to save money.  Today he found a super long couch that has 4 cushions and is really comfy.  It's very 70s, but is in excellent shape and still bouncy. It's $60 at the thrift store. I'm hoping we get it this week, if he's OK with it. We'll either sell or give away our other couch. Then we'll get a couple of equally 70s vintage wing chairs to go with it so we can finally seat more than 2 people in the living room. I've seen some of those at another thrift store.

I have started doing laundry again, baby steps, trying to get ahead of it again.  I have to clear off the desk/table again and the rest of the bedroom as well. I have to find a new bedspread/comforter for the bedroom since the new dog destroyed my pretty blue circley one.

Ok, that's all I can deal with writing right now. I've got to work on not having control of the money, and I have to take back control of my house... when all I want to do is crawl into bed for a month or two.

I hope you're all doing well.  I've not been to any blogs in weeks, so I don't know, but hope all is well.

Chaotically Yours,