Initial Panic is Over, Now What?

So, if you saw my last post, you'll know, the company I have worked for, for over 11 years lost the contract with the company we do customer service for, and after 16 co-workers were immediately laid off, myself and a handful of others are being kept on through the end of the month, and then we're gone as well.  The company we do customer service work for is one that has been a big part of my life.  They make our favorite hobbies and my husband and I have both been a big part of their community, and I started as a volunteer for them in 2000, and eventually became a full time CSR for them (although we were contracted out at that point).

So, soon, there will be a huge void in my life, and my wallet. If you've been following along here for a little while, you'd also know my husband left his $43k/year job in July, and is now working part time making less than $23k/year.  We were not able to pay all of our bills before I got laid off, and now it's just a total toss up.  I honestly do not know how to proceed at this point.

I don't have much of a long term plan right now.  I am going to keep working here as long as I can. Then I'll file for Unemployment as soon as I am able (I think a week later), and we'll just have to call creditors and tell them what's happening and try to figure something out. We will do everything we can to maintain our four walls - rent, electric, water, at least some form of Internet, the car payment so my husband can get to work, gas and groceries.

I recently re-did our plan with Comcast to get a lower bill, but I think we still have a contract with them which would cost us over $400 to break if we canceled service altogether. I don't know how little service we can have and still be under contract, so I'll have to check.  But I can't do that until my job is over, and even then I may not, in case I do decide to try for another online job. 

There are actually a lot of online jobs out there, but like 99% of them are phone support, which I totally understand, but I just don't think my anxiety at this point can handle that.  And of course, very very soon we will be without any medical insurance, so I won't be going to see a psychiatrist to get on any meds for it. I wish I had done so the past few months when I kept thinking about doing it.

Someone mentioned night desk clerk at a hotel.  And that does sound like something I'd be okay with.  I have worked overnights for 12 years now, and numbers on a clock have zero meaning to me now, to be honest. I just need to know if it's dark outside and when do I start work.  And really, the being dark outside isn't all that important. I can sleep with or without darkness.

Anyway, beyond the Four Walls, I don't know what we'll be able to pay, if anything. We just refinanced two loans, which we pay the first payments for this month (big payments too), and there's another creditor we had recently refinanced too, a small personal loan, and they are harassing my husband to get paid as well. We do not have it though, not to mention all the other bills we weren't even able to touch in our budget this month. 

So, what am I going to do?  First of all, I'm going to try to stop crying myself to sleep every morning/night. Not been really successful with that yet.  But I plan on just living on Unemployment and letting myself detatch from this job when it's over.  I need to step back, and let myself breathe and take stock of who I am again.  What do I want to do. I have a ton of customer service experience, both online and in retail, particularly game support and shoe stores.  I could try to wait and see if something in those fiends comes up. I wouldn't mind going back to work for a shoe store again I think.  I did enjoy it a lot, but my wonderful co-workers were a big part of that. I've not worked in the public for so long.  I know I can turn on that part of my brain and play the part of friendly sales associate again, but I don't know if my body will be able to adjust to suddenly being on my feet several hours a day.  I do have a prolapsed bladder and IBS (yeah I know TMI), but those have never been a big deal at this job because my office is right next to my own bathroom. If I'm the only person on the sales floor of a shoe store, I can't just run to the bathroom.

I just don't want to apply for anything right now, because I do have a few more weeks at this job, and then I can get on Unemployment to let myself breathe as I said before. I have thought about giving YouTube and more consistent blogging a go though. Obviously it would not make enough money to live on, but maybe if I were to get some views and folks clicking on my blog ads, I could at least help supplement our income. So, I think I will at least try to do some planner or journal videos, maybe some clean-with-me videos of my filthy house, recipe/cooking-with-Patty videos, do videos of my budget (and what it's like to go from $70k/year to ~$30k a year), and others??   Also I'd like to do blog posts 2-3 times a week at least, and maybe try to get back to daily blogging.

I know I don't have many readers anymore, but I seriously appreciate every one of you who does come by and read my blog. Do any of you have any ideas for blog posts and videos?  If I start up my YouTube channel again, and link to the videos in a blog post here, would you go watch it?  I'm a serious introvert and probably really awkward on camera, but you know, I've seen a lot of clean-with-me videos and most of them are 20-something gorgeous women with toddlers and babies in HUGE houses and fabulous kitchens and I wonder WTF their husbands do for a living LOL... so would anyone watch an overweight, introverted almost 50 yr old clean her 20 yr old mobile home? Is there really a market for that?  I mean, there might be?  I was thiiiiiiis close to starting a vlog channel a few years ago, but never went through with it.  Let me know what you think.

Thanks again to all of you (even if all = 2) who have continued to follow along on my blog.  I love you guys! And hey, if you are someone who follows along, and you haven't commented before, please do and let me know you're out there. <3 nbsp="" p="">
Patty